A Bulgarian is Hiking back to Sofia from Serbia . On the road when he see a old beaten up Ford van approach him .
He makes the sign that he wants a lift and the High top Ford Van pulls over to the right of the road and the Bulgarian is surprised to see that it a English van .
"Where are you going"? says the Englishman from his drivers window.
"I am going to Sofia " says the Bulgarian .
"O.K. " says the Englishman "get in."
After a few hours they are in Bulgaria and near to Sofia .
" I am hungry " says the Englishman .
"O.K." says the Bulgarian . " If you head for the centre , on one side is a KFC and the other a McDonald Burger Drive In and you can drop me off there ".
"O.K. " says the Englishman " The McDonalds drive In will better because I can then get food then just go . Can you help me get me get the food ? "
"No problem" , says the Bulgarian .
They drive into Sofia and find the Burger place .
The Englishman drives in .
But there is height bar that only allows cars and smaller vans to get in .
The Englishman try's to reverse but in the that time a Brand New Mercedes with five REALLY MEAN GANGSTERS drives very fast into the burger place and as is it stops the tyres make a Loud Noise .
The Englishman is still trying to take his van out and bangs into the Mercedes , breaking the front up .
Straight away five very angry , Angry , ANGRY gangsters jump out of the Mercedes open the car door , drag the shocked man out and start and start to beat him up ...
After beating the man to nothing but Broken Bones and a Blood Mess .
They appear to wake up an realise that the Ford Van has gone .
"I tried to tell you" says the Bulgarian man . "It was a English Auto !!!!
An ordinary citizen driving an East-German Trabant rear-ends a luxury black BMW carrying two борци . The driver is paralyzed with fear, but decides that he’s a dead man either way. So, he gets out of the car, finds a crowbar in the trunk and starts wailing on the BMW. He breaks all the windows, dents the hood, destroys the headlights. Finally, he looks at the damage he’s caused, smiles incredulously, gets in the Trabant and speeds away.
The борци look at each other with their mouths agape. Finally, one swallows and says:
“Holy crap, imagine what he’d have done to us if we’d hit him!”
A борец walks into a pharmacy and says:
“Give me a loaf of bread.”
“But sir, this is a pharmacy, we don’t carry bread,” replies the pharmacist.
The борец takes out a baseball bat and beats the pharmacist to within an inch of his life.
The next day he comes in again and says:
“Give me a loaf of bread.”
“We don’t carry bread.”
Same thing happens. The pharmacist decides to get some bread to avoid a third beating.
On the third day, the thug walks into the pharmacy.
“Hello, sir, I have your bread right here,” says the pharmacist.
“Oh, that’s okay, I got bread at the hardware store. You get me a quart of milk.”
And beats him up again .
A Bulgarian Roma is out stealing eggs in the village from her neighbours in the early morning with her daughter .
"I need to get eggs for my husband, my uncle , my brother , my cousin and my father ."
The daughter gets angry and says " Why should that one greedy c*unt get all the eggs "
Ivan and Gosho decide to buy two goats .
So they buy two young goats .
"But how are we too decide which goat belongs to me or you " says Gosho .
"Ok," says Ivan " I will cut off the ear of my goat , that way we will know which is which ".
The next day Gosho runs to Ivan and says" Your goat has bitten off the ear of my goat, how shall we know tell which goat belongs to who?"
"OK" says Ivan " I shall cut off the other ear of my goat and then we shall know which goat belongs to you or me ".
The next day Gosho runs to Ivan and says " Your goat has bitten off the other ear of my goat, how shall we tell which goat belongs to you or me ?"
"OK" says Ivan "I shall cut off the tail of my goat and then we shall know which goat belongs to who ."
The next day Gosho runs to Ivan and says " Your goat has bitten off the tail of my goat , now how we tell which goat belongs to who ."
"OK" says Ivan " You take the Black one I shall the White one ."
Ivan and Gosho decide to do some hunting in Woods .
They decide to split up to make their chances better.
There is a loud bang as Ivan shoots at something that moves .
The local Doctor gets a telephone call from Ivan on his Cell Phone .
"I think that Gosho is Dead " says Ivan to the Doctor .
"You think " says the Doctor " make sure "
The Doctor hears two loud bangs .
Ivan comes back to his telephone and says .
"Yes , I am sure now".
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