Smiles

GOLF

When Frank returned home from playing golf with Fred, his wife asked, "Why don't you play with Ernie anymore?" Would you play with someone who swears when he misses the hole, cheats with the score, throws his clubs and moves the ball?" asked Frank.

Smiles | January 14, 2002, Monday // 00:00 | Viewed: 494

EXAM

During an exam the professor tries to calm a student, who is very nervous. “Don’t worry, the exam is like a play at the theatre – I am the audience and you are the actor.

Smiles | January 13, 2002, Sunday // 00:00 | Viewed: 336

FAILURE

“I’ve been married twice and it is always a failure.”

Smiles | January 12, 2002, Saturday // 00:00 | Viewed: 367

SUGGESTION

A family was seated at the dinner table--the husband, wife, the 7-year-old daughter Jenny, and the 4-year-old son Jeremy. During dinner, the parents had noticed how well the kids were getting along--none of the usual bickering, picking at each other, etc

Smiles | January 11, 2002, Friday // 00:00 | Viewed: 509

HOUSEWIFE

At the pre-birth class for couples who'd already had at least one child the instructor raised the question of how to break the news to an older child. "Some parents tell the older child, 'We love you so much that we decided to bring another child into ou

Smiles | January 10, 2002, Thursday // 00:00 | Viewed: 469

ATHEIST

A young lady came home very sad from a date. She told her mother, "Anthony proposed to me an hour ago.

Smiles | January 9, 2002, Wednesday // 00:00 | Viewed: 317

100

Little Debbie came running into the house after school one day, shouting, "Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!" "That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy.

Smiles | January 8, 2002, Tuesday // 00:00 | Viewed: 363

MICROSOFT

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all the navigation and communications equipment. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign saying "Where am I?" and held it in the h

Smiles | January 7, 2002, Monday // 00:00 | Viewed: 376

HONEYMOON

A young couple got married and went on a cruise for their honeymoon. When they got back from the honeymoon, the bride immediately called her mother, who lived a couple of hours away.

Smiles | January 6, 2002, Sunday // 00:00 | Viewed: 449

WISHES

A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.

Smiles | January 5, 2002, Saturday // 00:00 | Viewed: 371

AMBIGUITY

When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. "Good heavens," he said, "what is this?"

Smiles | January 4, 2002, Friday // 00:00 | Viewed: 345

FREEZE

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms.Smith stopped to gently reprove the child.

Smiles | January 3, 2002, Thursday // 00:00 | Viewed: 625

TRAINING

Although this married couple enjoyed their luxury fishing boat together, it was the husband who was always behind the wheel operating the boat. He was concerned about what might happen in an emergency.

Smiles | January 2, 2002, Wednesday // 00:00 | Viewed: 441

MEN

There are two periods in each man’s life during which he is totally indifferent to women – the first and second half-time of a football match.

Smiles | January 1, 2002, Tuesday // 00:00 | Viewed: 351

SAFETY

An Arab-looking man is flying on a plane. The air-hostess offers him a drink.

Smiles | December 28, 2001, Friday // 00:00 | Viewed: 279

ICE

Ole and Lena lived on a lake in Northern Minnesota. It was near the end of winter and spring was just beginning.

Smiles | December 28, 2001, Friday // 00:00 | Viewed: 409

LAWYER

A man walked into a lawyer's office and asked him what his rates were. "$50 for three questions," the lawyer replied.

Smiles | December 27, 2001, Thursday // 00:00 | Viewed: 299

ARREST

An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" he wrote, "No.

Smiles | December 26, 2001, Wednesday // 00:00 | Viewed: 319

PRESENTS

As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"

Smiles | December 23, 2001, Sunday // 00:00 | Viewed: 320

KNIGHTS

All the good knights were leaving for the Crusades. One knight told his best friend, "My bride is without doubt one of the most beautiful women in the world.

Smiles | December 21, 2001, Friday // 00:00 | Viewed: 355

SENATOR

A car salesman trying to "influence" a senator by offering him a new car for free. The senator tells him that he could never accept such a gift under such circumstances.

Smiles | December 20, 2001, Thursday // 00:00 | Viewed: 337
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