Slavi's Joke: Police Academy

Society | October 3, 2003, Friday // 00:00

Three blond-haired ladies, bearing the names Rumito, Bibata and Dimitrichka, led by their civic virtues and the yearn to meet with General Boyko Borisov in private, decided to sit for exams at a police academy.

Chief of the examination board was the strict and experienced Major Ignat Lyutov.

Rumito was the first to enter the major's office. He took a good look at her and said: "Here is a picture of a very dangerous criminal. You have ten seconds to tell me what is this man's most distinctive feature."

Rumito took the picture, and her big, sad, green eyes stared at it for a while. After the ten seconds passed Lyutov took the photograph back and told the lady to speak up.

"Well, that man has only one eye," Rumito said shyly.

"No, my dear, the man doesn't have only one eye - this is simply a profile photograph of him," Lyutov said harshly and invited the next candidate into the cabinet.

Bibata - whose breasts reminded one of the St Alexander Nevski cathedral's domes - was the next to sit on the chair in front of the major. However, even her "domes" couldn't make his heart melt, and Lyutov said with a cold-blooded tone: "Now, be careful. This is the picture of a very dangerous man. You have ten seconds to look at it and then you'll have to tell me what is his most distinctive feature!"

Bibata took the photograph with her fine, rings-decorated fingers, and then spoke: "I see that this man has only one ear."

"No, no, no!" - the major screamed angrily - "You see one ear because this is a profile photograph!" He sent Bibata off immediately and shouted: "Next!"

The next was Dimitrichka, to whom Lyutov addressed his cold, vicious voice, explaining that she had to look at the picture of the criminal and make out his most distinctive feature in ten seconds.

After taking just a brief glance at the image, Dimitrichka said calmly: "This man is obviously wearing lenses."

Lyutov knitted his eyebrows sceptically togather but quickly looked through the man's record, only to be stunned by the fact that he wore lenses indeed! With his eyes wide open, Lyutov turned back to Dimitricha and said: "Welcome to the police academy, young lady! But, tell me, how did you know the man wore lenses after such a brief look at his picture?"

"It's simple," Dimitrichka said proudly. "With only one eye and one ear he obviously is not able to wear glasses!"

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