Two Philadelphia policemen are on their beat one night when they come across a little boy sitting dejectedly on the curb.

"Young man," says one of the policemen, "It's after midnight! You shouldn't be out here this late! Where do you live? We're taking you home!"
"I don't want to go home," says the boy. "My father beats me."

The cops raise an eyebrow to each other before asking, "Doesn't your mother do anything to stop this?"

"No," says the boy. "My mother beats me too."
"Well we can't just let you stay out on the street all night," says the cop. "Do you have any relatives we can take you to?"

"No," says the little boy. "But I would like to live with the Philadelphia Eagles if I could."

"The Philadelphia Eagles?" asks the cop. "Why them?"

"Because everybody knows," replies the little boy, "The Eagles never beat anybody."

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