Sofia Morning News (published by Sofia News Agency, novinite.com)

HOT PHOTO

Suhodol Citizens Up in Arms Again, Say Sofia Mayor is Liar
Police cut short the protestors' march at Suhodol halfway the road to the dumpsite, whose reopening sparked tension in the western suburb and faced the capital Sofia with a new garbage crisis. Photo by Yuliana Nikolova (Sofia Photo Agency)

BULGARIA PRESIDENT NEXT TO QADDAFI IN LISBON FAMILY PHOTO
Bulgarian President Georgi Parvanov and Libyan leader Muammar Qaddafi went down in history unexpectedly close after ending up shoulder to shoulder in the family photo at the EU-Africa summit in Lisbon.

More than 80 leaders from Europe and Africa are attending their first summit for the last seven years in Lisbon.

The venue brought together Parvanov and Qaddafi for the first time since the release of five Bulgarian nurses and Palestinian doctor, who were sentenced to death on charges of infecting hundreds of Libyan children with HIV.

President Georgi Parvanov pardoned them shortly after they touched down on Bulgarian soil on July 24 after spending nearly eight years in Libyan jails.

Five months later Parvanov and Qaddafi did not exchange a single word as they met at the start of the summit, silently shaking their hands.

The two ended up next to one another in the traditional family picture after Egypt President Hosni Mubarak, who was to stand between them, left unexpectedly soon.

Georgi Parvanov and Muammar Qaddafi have not been scheduled to hold an official meeting in the framework of the Lisbon summit, but the option has not been ruled out, reports said.

"President Parvanov is scheduled to have bilateral meetings with heads of state and government of African countries," a statement of the press office of the presidency said.

The Bulgarian delegation in Lisbon includes Feim Chaushev, Bulgaria's Deputy Foreign Minister, and Petko Doykov, head of the directorate Middle East and Africa with the Foreign Ministry, who published a week ago their book about the trial, entitled "The Benghazi case - Bulgaria's diplomacy in action".

Tripoli has protested against the pardoning of the medics, claiming it breaches the prisoner transfer agreement signed in 1984, based on which the medics were repatriated. The country threatened to review its ties with Bulgaria.

The EU- Africa summit has been billed as heralding a new, equal relationship for the continents. The host, Portuguese Prime Minister Jose Socrates, has said no subject, including human rights, will be taboo.

Activists are urging more action to solve the Darfur crisis and confront Zimbabwe's President Robert Mugabe. Mugabe is banned from the EU, but was invited to the summit after African leaders threatened to stay away.

UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown, who is critical of Mugabe's human rights record, is boycotting the summit in protest.

MORE READ in the POLITICS SECTION

HOTEL IN BULGARIA'S BANSKO RESORT IN FLAMES, GUESTS EVACUATED
A huge fire broke out at a five-floor hotel at the Bulgarian resort of Bansko on Saturday, forcing all the guests to flee.

According to unconfirmed reports the hotel is called "Iceberg".

It was not immediate clear what caused the blaze, but hotel staff have blamed a group of students staying at the hotel for the weekend.

BUSINESS

BULGARIA NAMED FASTEST RISER ON WORLD'S PROPERTY MARKET
Property prices in Bulgaria rose faster than anywhere else in the world in 2007, according to a survey by a leading British estate agency.

The European Union's newest member topped the latest Knight Frank Global Price Index with an annualised property price growth of 30.6 %. Bulgaria ranked three percentage points above the south-east Asian economic powerhouse of Singapore.

"Despite numerous concerns over the level of oversupply in a number of locations within Bulgaria - notably the winter ski resort of Bansko and selected coastal resort locations - Bulgaria has supplanted the previously top performing Baltic hotspot at the top of the Knight Frank league," the report declared.

Last year, the highest ranking country was Latvia, which saw property price growth of 56.9%. However, this dropped in 2007 to 10.9%, on concerns about overpricing in the Latvian capital, Riga.

TRAIN TICKETS IN BULGARIA UP BY 10%
Bulgaria's state-owned railways BDZ is increasing ticket prices for fast and express trains by an average of 10%, starting December 9.

The new tariffs will not apply to short-distance destinations, which are believed to be the most widely used by Bulgarian passengers. Discount cards would also keep their prices.

The 10% raise in ticket prices means an increase of 2 levs for some of the most popular long-distance trips, including Sofia-Varna (BGN 20.70), Sofia - Russe (BGN 16), Sofia-Burgas (BGN 16), Sofia -Dobrich (BGN 22.20).

Tariffs for cargo trains will increase by 5.5% for middle and long distance and by 30% for short-distance trips.

The company defended its decision with the upcoming overhaul of the train fleet and the improved service.

BDZ is putting into operation twenty-five diesel trains by German engineering giant Siemens.

ABRAMOVICH, DERIPASKA EYE GOOGLE - REPORT
Two Russian tycoons are bidding to acquire the world's most successful online search engine Google, local media reported.

The offer of Roman Abramovich and Oleg Deripaska has been set at USD 10 B, according to the online edition Top News.

The press offices of Roman Abramovich and Oleg Deripaska have neither confirmed nor denied the information.

POLITICS

BULGARIA PRESIDENT SETS OUT ON AFRICAN TOUR NEXT YEAR
Bulgaria's President, who attended the EU-Africa summit in Lisbon, announced he is planning a tour of African countries next year.

The countries included are South Africa, Namibia and Botswana.

"It is too early to say whether Libya will be a leg in the tour," Parvanov told reporters, adding that Bulgaria should not be prejudiced against opening a new page in its relations with the Jamahiriya.

The venue brought together Parvanov and Qaddafi for the first time since the release of five Bulgarian nurses and Palestinian doctor, who were sentenced to death on charges of infecting hundreds of Libyan children with HIV.

President Georgi Parvanov pardoned them shortly after they touched down on Bulgarian soil on July 24 after spending nearly eight years in Libyan jails.

Tripoli has protested against the pardoning of the medics and threatened to review its ties with Bulgaria.

"The case with the Bulgarian medics is over and it is worth outlining new parameters in our relations with Libya," the president said.

Asked about his silent handshake with Libyan leader Muammar Qaddafi when unexpectedly ending up shoulder to shoulder for the traditional family picture, Parvanov said: "No comments were made."

In his address to the more than 80 leaders participating in the historic summit, President Parvanov stressed on Bulgaria's commitment to prevent epidemics on the Black continent and the need for invigorating trade and investments.

The president discussed Kosovo and the efforts made to find a common solution with a number of European leaders, including European Parliament President Hans-Gert Poettering; Javier Solana, Secretary-General of the Council of European Union, Romanian President Traian Basescu, Austrian Federal Chancellor Alfred Gusenbauer, Dutch Prime Minister Jan Peter Balkenende, German Foreign Minister Frank-Walter Steinmeier and Macedonian Prime Minister Nikola Gurevski.

EU-AFRICAN LEADERS SEAL FREE TRADE AND DEMOCRACY PACT
European and African leaders marked the end of a two-day summit in Lisbon by signing a pact promoting free trade and democracy, BBC reported.

The EU-Africa Strategic Partnership document outlined joint policy aims in areas such as security, development and good governance.

The summit has been dominated by controversy surrounding the presence of Zimbabwe's President Robert Mugabe.

German Chancellor Angela Merkel said Mugabe's policies had "damaged Africa".

The EU-Africa Strategic Partnership pact is a hugely ambitious agenda and implementing the proposals will be difficult, BBC commented.

The plan talks about promoting peace and security, two EU peacekeeping deployments in Sudan and Chad are already well overdue.

Europe and Africa are currently in open disagreement over an EU plan for import tax reductions, despite the pact's focus on free trade.

Ghanaian President John Kufuor, who is also president of the African Union, said it was time to shake off the colonial past.

"For almost 500 years, the relationship between our two continents had not been a happy one. It is to correct this historic injustice and inhumanity that this new relationship between Africa and the European Union is now necessary," he said.

Meanwhile, French President Nicolas Sarkozy met his Rwandan counterpart to "start to normalise" ties, which were severed last year in a row over a French inquiry into events that led to the 1994 Rwandan genocide.

"We want to turn the page, we want to look to the future," said Mr Sarkozy following talks with President Paul Kagame.

The EU is attempting to draw up a number of new Economic Partnership Agreements with former African colonies and regional blocs. The World Trade Organization wants the current preferential trade deals to expire at the end of the year.

African representatives are concerned that the new agreements are unbalanced and that their countries will not be able to compete with subsidised European goods.

The first day of the summit was overshadowed by the contentious presence of Zimbabwe's President Robert Mugabe.

Previous efforts to hold EU-African summits have collapsed over the question of Mugabe's attendance.

Although Mugabe is banned from the EU, African leaders demanded he be invited to attend. UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown has boycotted the meeting in protest.

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BULGARIA EMBATTLED EX-KING KEEPS HIS SILENCE IN MADRID
Bulgaria's former king, who left on a perfectly timed voyage abroad just as his party started to fall apart, was reported to be relaxing at his house in the Spanish capital Madrid.

"Simeon Saxe-Coburg is spending his time secluded at his house in a prestigious Madrid district and has left it only once for the last three days," local Trud daily reported.

According to the article the house-keeper was seen every day to throw into the garbage bin a huge bunch of newspapers and magazines after apparently being read through by Saxe-Coburg.

At the beginning of this week dissenting MPs from the centrist NMSP party of Simeon Saxe-Coburg set up their own parliamentary group.

Fourteen NMSP members, some of whom with a near-faultless record of loyalty to the king, joined the ranks of the rebel faction, called "Bulgarian New Democracy".

Simeon Saxe-Coburg is believed to be anxiously waiting to see how many more will join the ranks of the faction, knowing that the critical minimum for his parliamentary group is 34.

Anything else would mean complete surrender to the ethnic Turks partner in the ruling coalition and would call for a new coalition agreement.

The Socialists, NMSP and ethnic Turk MRF party now has a comfortable majority of 154 MPs in the 240-seat legislature.

BULGARIA KING'S PARTY PROCLAIMED DEAD BY DISSENTERS
A key figure from the parliamentary group of mavericks that split from the ranks of the former king's party has officially dismissed it as a thing of the past.

"Bulgarian New Democracy differs in many and significant ways from NMPS, which is a closed project," Plamen Panayotov, the lawyer who informally led the dissenters since the party tumultuous congress in the summer, told Darik radio.

According to Panayotov the party of Simeon Saxe-Coburg has lost its characteristics of a rightist-liberal party.

"How can you talk about liberal democracy if your style is made up of nothing but threats?", Panayotov rhetorically asked, referring apparently to the leader Saxe-Coburg.

"We are out of the ruling coalition, we are opposition," Panayotov stressed in response to criticism that the dissenters are giving contradictory indications as to what they are planning to do next.

CRIME

UK JAILS BULGARIAN IMMIGRANT POSING AS MACEDONIAN
A Bulgarian immigrant has been jailed after pretending to be an asylum seeker and stealing nearly GBP 18,000 in benefits, Manchester Evening News reported.

Peter Kostov arrived in Britain in April with his wife and three children, telling the authorities he was from neighbouring Macedonia.

He registered his claim under the name Stevan Avramovski, maintaining the family had never had passports and had travelled here hidden in the back of a lorry. He said they had paid an agent 12,000 euros to get them into the country.

Sentencing him to eight months in jail, Judge Bernard Lever told him: "When you have finished serving your sentence, you can go home to your family and tell everyone else what they can expect in Manchester Crown Courts if, instead of working hard, they cheat and sponge and lie."

The family were first housed in Liverpool, before being sent to Eccles. Kostov applied for asylum benefits under his false name - and was then granted the cash between April and November while his asylum claim was processed.

The claim was rejected in July and last month, the Kostovs were taken to an immigration centre near Heathrow, in preparation for their deportation to Macedonia three days later.

It was at that point that Kostov admitted they were Bulgarian and that their passports were buried in the garden of their home in Eccles.

Since Bulgaria is a European Union member, Kostov had the right to work in Britain for three months at a time.

Macedonia is not yet a member, so its citizens cannot work here.

Kostov did not explain his actions in interviews and pleaded guilty to charges of seeking to obtain leave to remain in Britain by deception and making false statements to obtain benefits.

Defence lawyer John Wolfson said Kostov's family had returned voluntarily to Bulgaria and he would like to be deported there. But Judge Lever said he wanted to make an example of him, jailing him for eight months, less the 27 days he has already spent in custody.

"Bulgaria belongs to the EU and there is a free labour market," he said. "It was open to you to come over here perfectly lawfully and to seek work.

"Instead of that, you and your family hid your passports and pretended to be Macedonian citizens. You proceeded to cheat and sponge off the hard-working taxpayers in this country.

The case against Kostov was brought by the criminal investigation arm of the Border and Immigration Agency (BIA).

5 BULGARIANS HELD IN GERMANY, BRAZIL FOR COCAINE SMUGGLING
Five Bulgarian sailors have been arrested in Germany and Brazil on suspicions of involvement in an international ring for cocaine smuggling, police said.

The ring operated for transporting drugs from Latin America to Europe and the Middle East.

The Bulgarian sailors were part of the crews aboard the Lilyana Dimitrova and the Five from REMS ships.

The drug was seized before it reached the territory of Bulgaria and police said three are no indications of Bulgarian companies being involved in the ring.

The ships, part of the fleet of the country âЂs state shipping company Navigation Maritime Bulgare, have been rented out to foreign companies.

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WORLD

CAMERA CATCHES CHILLING PHOTOS OF OMAHA MALL SHOOTER
The authorities on Friday released photographs taken from a store surveillance video and notes written by a gunman as they continued to piece together what led the man to kill eight people and himself in a mall rampage this week, the New York Times reported.

The pictures, the first official images released, show the gunman, whom the police have identified as Robert A. Hawkins, 19, entering the Von Maur department store, raising an assault rifle and taking aim.

In the first photograph, Hawkins appears to be unarmed as he enters the store in a black sweatshirt and sneakers. In the second picture, he again enters the store, this time apparently with a weapon tucked under his right arm. In the third photo, he is outside the store's third-floor elevator with the rifle raised, taking aim.

The photographs help to explain a narrative the authorities have been assembling since Wednesday afternoon, when the shootings occurred at Von Maur, an anchor store at the Westroads Mall on the west side of the city.

The police also released two notes from Hawkins and a will scribbled on loose-leaf paper without punctuation.

In one note, directed to friends, Hawkins said: "I know everyone will remember me as some sort of monster, but please understand that I just don't want to be a burden on the ones that I care for my entire life." He also mused that he might become famous.

In a message to family, Hawkins wrote that he did not want anyone to miss him. "I don't blame any one of you for disowning me," he said, adding: "I'm so sorry for this. I just snapped."

In his will, Hawkins left his car and other belongings to his mother. He also wrote: "I love you mommy. I love you dad."

OIL SLICK REACHES S KOREAN SHORE
Oil from a damaged tanker has reached South Korea's west coast, not far from a nature reserve, BBC reported, citing coast guards.

Emergency workers in Taean region are battling to contain the slick, now up to 20km (12 miles) long, from harming wildlife and valuable sea farms.

More than 10,000 metric tons of oil began leaking into the sea after the 146,000-ton Hebei Spirit oil tanker collided with a barge.

Maritime officials say it is the country's worst oil spill.

According to South Korea's Ministry of Maritime Affairs, the Hong Kong-registered vessel had been at anchor when it was hit by the industrial barge, which had broken free from its towing lines.

An emergency operation was quickly launched.

The oil threatens a stretch of scenic coastline 100 km (60 miles) south-west of the capital, Seoul.

The area includes a designated national maritime park and provides important wetland stopovers for migrating birds.

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CNN: GUNMAN KILLS 2 AT CHRISTIAN TRAINING CENTER
A gunman opened fire Sunday in a training center for young Christian missionaries outside Denver, Colorado, killing two people and wounding two others, CNN reported, citing police.

The lone gunman walked into Youth with a Mission, began shooting and then ran away, according to a Susan Medina of the Arvada Police Department.

Peter Warren, the center's co-founder, said a man and a woman were killed. He said the woman was from Minnesota and the man was from Alaska. He did not provide their ages.

"These kids were like our kids, you know?" he told CNN affiliate KUSA. "It's just such a tragedy."

He said a memorial service for the two would likely be held Tuesday or Wednesday.

About 45 people were in the building at the time of the shooting, she said.

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LIFESTYLE

BULGARIA STUDENTS WARM UP WITH FANCY FAKE WEDDINGS
Students from Sofia University "St. Kliment Ohridski" kept alive the tradition of untraditional wedding ceremonies to add an extra dose of romanticism in celebrating their holiday on December 8.

For the sixth consecutive year, Alma Alter, the theatre group with the university, initiated willing couples into the mystery of marriage.

The ceremonies, involving candles, ropes, dry spaghetti sticks and lots of loving vows took place in the halls of the university.

The certificates, given out to each couple that put themselves through the special ceremony understandably has no legal validity.

Actors from Alma Alter first stepped into the ring of love to urge friends into "wedlock" in a gesture of devotion and as a preparation before saying "I do" in real.

The Day of the Bulgarian students was first marked in 1903 in Sofia University and has been celebrated ever since both by current and former students.

GOOGLE CO-FOUNDER PAGE MARRIES ON CARIBBEAN PRIVATE ISLAND
Google co-founder Larry Page has married his girlfriend, Lucy Southworth, this weekend on a tiny private island in the Caribbean, The Times reported.

Page, 34, America's fifth-richest man with a fortune of GBP 9 B, was marrying Lucinda "Lucy" Southworth, 27, a student in biomedical informatics at Stanford University who already has a masters degree from Oxford.

The star-studded ceremony took place on Sir Richard Branson's exclusive Necker Island and media reports said all guests have been swore to secrecy.

The bride is on course to gain a doctorate at Stanford. Her groom dropped out of his PhD programme at the same Californian university to start Google.

One of Southworth's friends said in an internet posting: "They are really nuts about each other; they make google eyes to each other all the time." Denise Hale, a San Francisco socialite, said: "They are a very well-matched couple. She's stunning and bright, and he's very attractive and bright."

Al Gore, the former vice-president, had to decline his invitation because he is due in Norway tomorrow to collect his Nobel peace prize.

Bono, the U2 singer, was a guest and was expected to perform.
The Red Hot Chili Peppers also played at the reception.

Hillary Clinton was invited, but said she would not attend the wedding as initially reported.

SOCIETY

SUHODOL CITIZENS UP IN ARMS AGAIN, SAY SOFIA MAYOR IS LIAR
Residents of Suhodol district in Sofia continued on Sunday their protests against reopening the nearby dumpsite on the western outskirts of Bulgaria's capital.

About 100 people gathered in the early hours of the morning to march from the central square to the dumpsite only to be stopped by the police at a bridge halfway through.

No clashes were reported and protests continue peacefully.

The protestors accused Sofia mayor Boyko Borissov of having cheated them and brandished a signed by him poster from his first election campaign two years ago, vowing his support for the citizens of Suhodol.

Last month the environment ministry backed the most controversial option for preventing a looming garbage crisis in the capital by re-opening the depot at Suhodol.

The dumpsite has been the main storage for the city's garbage, but was shut down over the residents' repeated complaints and protests against the smell and pollution.

Mayor Borissov suggested that the city council allots BGN 30-40 M for developing Suhodol infrastructure, but was given the cold shoulder by the citizens of the suburb, who said "they have been there before".

Residents of Suhodol district forced Sofia authorities to introduce crisis management in July 2005 after blockading the capital only operational landfill. The protests left the streets in the capital littered with garbage, posing a serious risk to human health and the environment.

Sofia's failure to improve its waste management infrastructure was one of the six issues on which the European Commission launched infringement procedures against Bulgaria in the middle of October.

BULGARIAN FREED NURSE RECALLS LIFE "IN QADDAFI'S CELL"
Snezhana Dimitrova, one of the five Bulgarian nurses who spent more than eight years in a Libyan jail accused of deliberately infecting children with HIV, will launch at the beginning of the week a book describing her ordeal.

The book was released in French on October 18, under the title "Le Cauchemar". In Bulgaria it will be published in instalments on the pages of Standard daily, titled "In Qaddafi's cell".

"I wrote the book for fifteen days while I was in Paris," Snezhana told Darik radio.

She is the second of the five nurses to recount the events from their protracted imprisonment in Libya, the torture and the trials, in a book.

At the beginning of November Kristiyana Valcheva launched her biography, ghost-written by Bulgarian reporter Mirolyuba Benatova and Marie-Therese Cuny, a French journalist who focuses on women's issues.

"Eight years as Qaddafi's hostage" proved a huge success on the Bulgarian market and was re-issued in another 9,000 copies after the initial batch of 15,000 was devoured for days.

BLAZE BREAKS OUT AT SOFIA LIONS' BRIDGE
A plume of black smoke covered the sky over one of the biggest junctures in downtown Sofia at midnight as a fire broke out on the ceiling of a residential building.

Fire crews were deployed to the scene at Lions' Bridge and extinguished the flames, which are believed to have been triggered by a failure in the electricity supply system.

There were no immediate reports of casualties or serious damage.

SHOW BUZZ

LORD OF THE DANCE MICHAEL FLATLEY WINS MILLIONS OVER RAPE CLAIM
Dancer Michael Flatley has been awarded $11 million (Â£5.4m) against a woman who claimed he raped her in 2002, BBC reported.

He was offered the settlement after convincing the California Supreme Court the accusations were false and part of a million-dollar extortion scheme.

Flatley, 49, said he was "very pleased" with the judgement against real estate agent Tyna Marie Robertson.

"Ms Robertson tried to extort money from me by spreading these lies," said the former Riverdance star.

"The court sent a message that it will not tolerate these types of schemes."

Robertson alleged the Irish-American folk dancer had raped her in a Las Vegas hotel after she flew to visit him in October 2002.

According to court papers, her attorney threatened to file a sexual assault lawsuit unless Flatley agreed to a "seven figures" settlement.

Flatley refused to pay, insisting that the sex was consensual and that Robertson had had a "relaxed and happy" breakfast with him the following morning.

The dancer, best known for his world famous role as the Lord of the Dance, will give to charity whatever is left of his damages after costs.

PEOPLE

THE "UNSEEN" LENNON DISPLAYED AT LONDON EXHIBITION
An exhibition celebrating the life of John Lennon has opened in London's Proud Gallery as people around the world are commemorating the legendary Beatles frontman who was shot dead 27 years ago on December 8.

The displayed images show Lennon as a boy, during the filming of the Magical Mystery Tour in Plymouth and Give Peace a Chance, posing with Yoko Ono with an Exit sign above their heads, surrounded by their own memorabilia.

The image, in which Lennon is sitting at the piano on which he wrote the song Imagine, is considered iconic.

The former Beatle was shot in Manhattan on 8 December 1980 by Mark Chapman. The killer - Mark Chapman - has pleaded guilty and is currently serving a life sentence in Attica prison near New York.

Chapman told judges that he had heard "voices" in his head telling him to kill the legendary singer, songwriter and guitarist.

HOROSCOPE

ARIES
You've got to keep an even keel today -- and it won't be as hard as you're afraid it could be. It may feel as if the universe is helping you breathe and remain calm, even when things get crazy around you.

TAURUS
You're rising above the current situation somewhat and seeing things from a different perspective. You may or may not be able to solve the problem yet, but you should at least pick up on a few new clues.

GEMINI
You're not showing everyone all of your cards, which may feel a bit weird, but is a perfectly okay way to go about your business right now. Your secrets shouldn't stay secret for long, though.

CANCER
You feel just a wee bit out of balance today and that could mean it's time to readjust or reprioritize your activities. If you're not in the mood, the push ahead anyway -- but expect a few bumps along the way!

LEO
You should make sure that your ego is kept far from the affairs of the day -- it's just far too easy to take offense otherwise! Most people mean no harm and those few who do are well worth ignoring.

VIRGO
If you're looking for romance, now is a great time to open your eyes and check out the situation around you -- especially at work or at school! If you're with someone already, things should go well.

LIBRA
You are stepping into an uncomfortable position vis-a-vis an authority figure of some kind, but the good news is that it shouldn't be problematic for all that long. Just run with it for now.

SCORPIO
Your communication skills are strong and you may find that people are more willing to hear out even the craziest ideas. You shouldn't have to push anyone very hard, but you shouldn't be afraid to do just that.

SAGITTARIUS
You're feeling rather thoughtful now and might find that you're rethinking a few of your older or more deeply held beliefs. There's no need to rush into anything, so take your time and get it all right.

CAPRICORN
Your energy is incredibly strong today, so you ought to be able to take on just about any challenge with ease. It's a good time to finish up old ongoing projects or to say yes to brand-new activities.

AQUARIUS
Don't rock the boat today -- you've got too much at stake to take any serious risks. The good news is that there's no need to take direct action right away and that things should realign in a good way pretty soon.

PISCES
Your sense of what your family needs is pretty strong right now, though it may take some serious convincing before they agree with you. Changes are going to happen sooner or later, though!

VIEWS & RECORDS

SPAIN BULLDOZES ITS CONCRETE COSTAS
By Steve Kingstone
BBC News, Spain

Spain is reclaiming its costas by bulldozing many of the concrete tower blocks that erupted along its coastline with the influx of tourism.

In the rush to cash in, councils illegally granted planning permission that is now being revoked.

"One Sunday morning we opened the newspapers, and there it was - a double-page photograph of our building, saying it was going to be demolished," says Marisa Toomey whose retirement home is one of those affected.

It pains her to recall the saga of Banana Beach, a plush seaside development in Marbella, under threat of demolition by Andalucia's provincial government.

Mrs Toomey, who is Spanish, bought an apartment there in 2004 with her British husband John, a retired property lawyer from London.

'Devastated'

"The documents were drawn up by two Spanish solicitors and verified by an independent notary," stresses John Toomey, producing a wad of paperwork to confirm the apparent legality of the purchase.

Only later would the couple learn that the site should never have been approved for residential use.

"We bought in good faith," explains Mr Toomey, "and we're devastated. It could not possibly happen in England - everything was totally legal and subsequently it was made illegal."

Banana Beach was one of dozens of big money construction projects approved in the 1990s.

And Marbella, in turn, is just one symptom of a development malaise which has stricken the Spanish costas.

Coastal regions represent just 7% of Spain's territory and yet are home to 44% of the population.

In some communities, three-quarters of all land adjoining the coast has been urbanised, and much of the infrastructure is geared towards the 48 million tourists who annually spread their towels on Spanish sand.

"The last decade has seen the same number of new buildings as in the whole of our previous history," explains Maria Jose Caballero of Greenpeace.

"For years, people have thought they can build wherever they want along the coasts. We need to change that mentality."

Spain's left-wing government agrees, and boasts that 665 illegal structures have already been bulldozed this year.

A much-hyped Strategy for Coastal Sustainability pledges to put the brakes on human occupation, and to recover the coastline's natural beauty.

With an election just three months away, the plan reflects the political emergence of green issues here.

The Environment Ministry says Spain's beaches are predicted to shrink by an average of 15 metres by 2050, as a result of rising sea levels.

"The environment represents our future," says Juan Fernandez-Ranada, who implements the government's coastal policy in Malaga.

"It's important that the tourism economy works with our natural resources, as the two can be self-reinforcing."

Indeed, the renewed emphasis on coastal preservation is itself becoming a marketing tool in a country where tourism accounts for 10% of GDP.

"Spain is trying to replace the previous development model of sun, sea, and sangria," explains Mark Stucklin, who runs theconsultancy Spanish Property Insight.

"With cheaper sun holidays elsewhere in Europe, they must offer added value - meaning a natural environment, good services and tasteful infrastructure."

Over five decades mass tourism has been a driving force in the Spanish economy, transforming once-sleepy fishing villages into package resorts of mass appeal.

But for those owning a place in the sun, how threatening is the move from Viva Espana to Greener Espana?

Wholesale demolitions 'unlikely'

Many commentators believe that wholesale demolitions of holiday properties are unlikely, not least because of the scope for jurisdictional turf wars between rival branches of government.

"There's a lot of politics in play," says Mark Stucklin, "often involving rival parties which are reluctant to co-operate. There could be years of debate."

Legally, Spain's national government controls a seaside strip of precisely 106 metres, as defined by the 1988 Coastal Law.

The first 6 metres adjoining the beach are reserved for pedestrian and cycle access; while the following 100 metres are considered suitable for municipal leisure facilities, but not private homes.

Technically, any property built close to a beach after 1988 could be ripe for demolition; while thousands more buildings fall foul of local and provincial planning laws, including Banana Beach in Marbella.

Madrid wants the regions and town halls to sign up to a nationwide development strategy, costing an estimated 5 billion Euros.

Unable to sell their apartment because of the threatened demolition, and sceptical about any promise of compensation, John and Marisa Toomey are already counting the cost of an ill-fated investment.

"This was for our retirement, these were our savings. It's very sad," says John, with British understatement.

His Spanish wife puts it more bluntly: "Our lawyers in Spain have said the compensation will take years and years. We'll probably be dead by the time anyone decides to compensate us."

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350 PENSIONERS, DRUNKARDS AND A RANDY BULGARIAN COOK HEAD UP THE AMAZON
By Roger Lewis
Daily Mail

Mix 350 cantankerous pensioners on a tropical cruise ship with suffocating humidity, a randy Bulgarian maitre d' and a group of erudite merrymakers, and you've got a cocktail for disaster. Or, as it turned out, a classic British farce...

I hate travelling. I never leave the house. I am a recluse. So what was I doing in a torrid zone aboard the 9,570-ton Spirit of Adventure, along with 350 passengers and my chums Craig Brown, Mavis Nicholson, Rosie Boycott and the much-loved Maureen Lipman?

Officially, I was standing in at short notice for an indisposed Miles Kington, and representing The Oldie Magazine, of which my cousin Jeremy Lewis is the deputy editor. But I felt as if I was co-starring in Carry On Up The Amazon.

The 'Amazon Adventure' is a 15-night cruise organised by the Saga Group.

Passengers are flown to Barbados, given a whistle-stop tour of some of the islands and then whisked down the eastern coast of South America, via Devil's Island, and up the great river itself.

My friends and I were part of 'the entertainment' provided for passengers. (Craig was Beryl Bainbridge's stunt double - she backed out because she thought Brazil was near Dieppe and that we'd go by car ferry.)

Our fellow travellers were a distinguished crowd. Lots of former ambassadors, governor-generals, consultant surgeons and lord lieutenants. One lady had helped invent the transistor radio.

One man was an expert in Norfolk's medieval church records. Another was a GCHQ boffin who'd programmed mainframe computers for the Falklands War. He lives with his mother and spends Â£64,000 a year on cruises. He's off to look at elephants at Christmas.

We'd been flown to the Caribbean, which was more overcast than Wales. Our luggage took so long to catch up with us, I expected to see a little chap on the side of the road opening his own branch of Next, stocked with my XXL shirts and Masonic apron.

My gang had a bit of a run-in with the ship's maitre d' on the first night. He wouldn't let us into the restaurant because we were 'only the lecturers'.

In a way, I could understand his disdain, for aboard the ship was a little band of ornithologists, archaeologists and sundry professors who spend months at a time giving talks on cruises. The topics include things like How To Take Better Photographs or Flower Arranging At Clarence House.

One of these people (Kenneth Williams to the absolute life) kept videoing himself, as if pretending to be a News At Ten correspondent. He told me his website was the most visited in the world. "What?" I said. "More hits even than www.bigboobs.com?"

Anyway, though we didn't want to be associated with that lot, we were cowed and pathetic, ready to slink away to the self-service buffet, or maybe to the crew's mess for a mug of tea. Maureen, however, was outraged. "I've never given a lecture in my life!" she said.

She sorted it out with a combination of imperiousness and charm. The only problem was the maitre d' - a menacing Bulgarian (think Bernard Bresslaw as Bunghit Din). He was smitten with Maureen and kept trying to get off with her.

Maureen took it well. Escorted to our table like royalty, she wore ever more elaborate necklaces and green peacock feather head-dresses. She was Carmen Miranda by the end.

The maitre d', by now utterly besotted, slipped her his mobile number. She said she knew all about Bulgarians. She had a Bulgarian home-help who watered the silk flowers for two years.

Captain David (as he called himself - but picture Kenneth Connor) kept making announcements loudly and slowly over the public address system. He was always waking us up at dawn with another grovelling apology for alterations to the schedule.

In the end I shoved wet towels down the speakers. And if it wasn't Captain David it was the well-meaning Cruise Director (Jim Dale), summoning us to the Sirocco Lounge to muster for our excursions.
The ship couldn't easily dock at many of the little ports and jetties, so we'd have to slip and slide down the steps on to a tender.

As most of the passengers were of an age to have been through the Blitz and the North African campaign, peril was something they took in their stride. I had to be carried on and off by four Filipino stevedores. Once ashore we would rush up a hill to see, for example, a rusty cannon and three goats.

At a turtle sanctuary I looked at dead turtles in a bucket. We went past hospitals where the mortuary doors were wide open, and many of the museums we were taken to see were shut - except for an anthropological institute in Guyana, which had a terrible wax model of a topless tribeswoman.

Craig had to buy me a drink in the bar next door to recover.

Nevertheless, I could now pass a stiff exam on nutmegs and tapioca.

We were shown every blessed branch, twig and seed pod. I quite liked the rum distillery. At 84.5 per cent, the rum was too strong for the tiniest sip. Chuck fruit juice on it, however, and you have Planter's Punch.

I became happily hooked, leading to a bar bill of Â£926.44. The drink came piled high with pineapple and paper parasols - Maureen decorated her cabin with her collection of little umbrellas.

There was disappointment when Captain David announced we wouldn't be landing at Devil's Island, the former penal colony. I'd hoped to see if it would be a good place to put people with Asbos. Time had been lost refuelling in the night, however, and the ship had to proceed full-steam towards Belem, at the mouth of the Amazon.

Not stopping meant a few days at sea. What a strange social life develops. The watercolour class was popular. The woman who ran it (Joan Sims) was so bossy, with a hectoring voice, like Ann Widdecombe's ugly sister.

"Now, ladies, who's got a dry cherry?" she asked innocently. I was thrown out for laughing. The next day - roses.

"This one is completely pink. Drop a blob of clean water in it and you'll have a lovely crisp frilly darker edge to your petal. Now, ladies, who's got a glistening petal?" I was thrown out again.

That evening, to a packed house, Craig and Maureen presented a cabaret based on literary parodies. Enid Blyton and Jilly Cooper spoofs - done with such elan you'd swear they'd rehearsed for months, rather than for ten minutes.

I wasn't wearing my glasses, but I think Craig impersonated the Queen and Maureen did Harold Pinter - so convincingly I thought it was him, and looked around the Sirocco Lounge in fear. Captain David eventually got us to Belem and I loved Amazonia.

We went on a riverboat with painted wooden balustrades to fish for piranhas. Along the bank were absinthe-green iguanas.

Long-tailed monkeys leapt from branch to branch. Red macaws and yellow birds darted in and out of their nests. Bands of pink dolphins appeared in water the colour of blueish milk.

On land, Maureen was doing some shopping accompanied by Clive, the cocktail pianist. From a distance they looked like Joan Collins and one of her husbands.

The women flirted like mad with Clive, saying he looked like George Clooney. When he started to sing in his fey way, however, I said he was more like Rosemary Clooney. He gave snorkelling lessons in his spare time and had thighs plated like an armadillo.

He needed his strength, too, to balance Maureen's bags and parcels. I doubt if there's a bead necklace left in South America - though in fairness, when it came to amassing indispensable ceramic turtles, parrot wall plaques, stuffed piranhas and toucan-shaped salad tossers, I won hands down.

Given that Captain David and the Spirit of Adventure had not been in such a remote spot before, we have to give him leeway for not knowing the fresh water supplies would run out. But it was no joke at the time.

In the suffocating heat you depend on two showers a day. Apparently the pressure from the hosepipes on shore was too weak and the river water couldn't be sucked into the tanks because it was too full of detritus to be filtered. The Filipina chambermaids put a litre of mineral water in the cabins for the old folk's dentures.

Amazingly, the old folk, who'd moan endlessly if the hot chocolate wasn't hot enough or if afternoon tea wasn't laid on in a mud hut, knuckled down to enjoy a resurgence of Dunkirk spirit.

As we floated down the narrowing channel, the ship was mobbed by dozens of tiny dug-out canoes. Hordes of smiling, copper-coloured children came to greet us as we glided past little dwellings perched on stilts.

Thickets of mangrove and pathless jungle enclosed us on either side. Big bats mobbed the decks. The next day I had puncture wounds on my forearms and remain convinced I was attacked by a bat, though some unkind souls whispered it was more likely I had fallen on the wrong end of a cocktail umbrella.

Disappointingly, we couldn't often venture ashore as the tenders' engines were clogged with weed. A local ferry was hired instead, and I walked through the forest and into a patch of foraging ants snapping their jaws.

As I talked to the passengers, I realised how wealthy the over-60s are. Mortgages have been paid off and the semi in Guildford is now worth a million. The death of a spouse or two brings in a nice life-insurance payout.

So long as they have their health - and a nurse was on board to advise about diuretics - the philosophy seems to be spend, spend, spend. They have all been to Antarctica and Alaska, to the Baltic and the Black Sea, and liked to outdo each other.

After some time in the old folk's company I detected little caprices. One man had a particularly annoying, wittering wife - then I noticed he'd taken his hearing aid out and no doubt not for the first time. There was a lady in the computer room so bored she was doing her Tesco shopping online.

There was a doleful man who was always last in the bar late at night - his wife had taken off with his best mate the week before to run a pub in Solihull. After talking to me, I feared he'd fling himself into the river to face the electric eels.

Instead he hooked up with a burly fellow from Staffordshire and seemed to cheer up. I particularly cherished a splendid Ulsterman with a Santa Claus beard.

"Are you going to the calypso steel band dance tonight?" I enquired. "No," he said firmly. "I'm too grumpy."

The worst thing about being old is the young. On board the Spirit of Adventure (or the Spirit of Dementia, as we came to call it) there was a group of brisk girls in charge of the trips, quizzes and games of hide-and-seek.

They addressed us by our first names, told people to put their canvas sun hats on, and ordered us in Hi-De-Hi! fashion to say hello to our guides.

Of course, if one is treated like a child, that is what one quickly turns into. It brings out the latent delinquent. When the old folk realised they had to collect numbered tickets for the tenders, they would break into a run, elbows jabbing.

The eat-all-you-can buffets would disappear in minutes.

I myself, a meek author and former Fellow at Oxford University, found myself back-answering and sulking. Craig was furious and shouted indignantly when accused of cheating in a quiz. In truth it was me who had sneaked a glance at the next table.

By the last day my conversation had run out and I had a 20-minute discussion with Maureen about dishwasher programmes. They switched off the air-conditioning and bundled us ashore at 8am for a flight at ten that night, on a charter airline called XL.

It was delayed, of course. The cleaners hadn't cleaned the plane, the wine and gin ran out just as the trolley reached our row, the lavatories were out of order "because too many people have been using them", and the seats wouldn't recline.

Behind us - wouldn't you know it ? - was the maitre d' who, with no reason now to pretend to be nice, glared at us menacingly.

One poor man grabbed a packet of nuts from the stewardess in desperation. Another flung his cutlery on the floor. The old folk were finally revolting and it was better than any in-flight entertainment.

Armed police and growling dogs met the plane at Gatwick. Maureen and Rosie got up a petition. I rather fear that some of my shipmates are currently in Wormwood Scrubs with orange bags over their heads.

Safely back on terra firma, I reflected on my cruise experience. Wasn't Philip Larkin's symbol of death a ship? The North Ship, "rigged for a long journey"?

It had been a glimpse of hell, particularly the layout of the wing chairs with brass studs in the Sirocco Lounge. This was the atmosphere of a retirement home or the sheltered accommodation that is waiting for all of us, with faux-kindly nurses longing to pump us full of tranquillisers, wishing we'd disappear.

Choppy waters ahead, I fear.

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SMILES

BOSS
I thought my Boss was an idiot, and quit, to work for myself. My new Boss is an idiot, too ... but at least I respect him.

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