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Topic: Something Diffrent Today .


#1
rpzx10 - 22 Aug 2014 // 18:19:56

Thought I would change tack today and tell you a story from the 1980,s .
I used to go out with a Swiss girl called Joanne who was a International Show Jumper .
We met in Palestine while her and a few other Internationals were doing a demonstration of Dressage etc ...

I was living in England at the time and my band was doing ok . But the constant moving about and living in a the back of a Bus with constant overnight travelling , not knowing what country you were in until you could see a road sign was starting to take its toll . 9 months in a van is really tiring .
Despite the objections of the Record Company I decided that I was taking 2 weeks off .

I was warned I would be sacked but to be honest I really did not care .
I decided I was going to drive to Switzerland and see Joanne .
I have never been flash (even when I could afford it ) so I bought a 10 year old Vauxhall Viva Estate to take me there .
So armed with my AA European Road Map I took the Ship to Calais and drove across Europe .

The trip was pretty uneventful and the road to Basel was uncrowded .
Until I got to Switzerland . I had been driving almost 24 hours and was feeling tired so I pulled over into a lay by for a sleep .
I woke up to the sound of Motorbikes surrounding me .
About 150 Hells Angels had decided to also stop at the lay by .
Now when I mean Hells Angels I mean the REAL DEAL . Not a Bunch of Bikers .
Real Gun toting , knife welding , drug dealing , dangerous group gang .

They had surrounded the car and took great pleasure in giving it a kick .
In those days we did not have mobile telephones .
I got out of the car and started to smile despite my fear .
Hi guys I said whats happening ?
They seemed to be amused by my bad German so I turned back to English .
I was surrounded and getting pushed by a group who I knew I had no chance in taking on, already 4 of them were in my car going through it .
Then one of them found my Guitar and held it up in the air in triumph .

"You play guitar" said one heavily scarred bearded giant .
Yes I said .
"Play" he ordered .
Some how I did not think that my New Romantic style was not going to cut it so I gave them Smoke on the water and Stairway to Heaven . They loved it .
You are now our guest , you will come back to our clubhouse .
Said one of the Grizzly Addams lookalikes .
My car had ben taken over and 5 of them were in it driving it off .
Get on Back, said the hairy monster gesturing to the rear of his motorcycle .
I got on the back seeing I had no choice and the whole of them rode in a large procession taking up both sides of the road .
More Later .

#2
rpzx10 - 22 Aug 2014 // 19:13:42

After a about a hour of Riding we got to the Club House .
From the outside it looked a real wreck and was about as big as Church Hall .
But inside it was completely different, it was like a Plush Gentleman's Club complete with Oak Panelling , deep leather chairs and a bar with waitress service . It also turned out it had bedrooms and a meeting room that would have put Wall Street to shame .
A lovely Juke Box that even then, must have costs thousands with coloured water moving up and down it .
To be honest I was impressed .

So for about 12 hours I stayed there drinking , smoking , playing music and generally having a good time .
I even played two of my own songs on the guitar which they recognised from the radio and instead of giving me a hard time they liked them .
Everybody seemed to get on fine and after some hours one of the less dangerous of the group asked me if I had a gun .
" No " I said .

"Every man must own a gun" he said . " Come with me ".
We left the club house and went into another building that was a indoor shooting range .
These guys must have had some serious finance .

There was a few guys taking shots at targets and various pistols and rifles with a couple of Sub-machine guns displayed very nicely .
In those days I knew little about guns and when he pointed to the display he asked me to pick a weapon .
I picked the only one I recognised which was a Uzi 9 mm .

He shook his head sadly and said "NO". Like talking to stupid little boy .
"That is a gun for Pussy , terrorists and people who do not know how to shoot .
He then went on to explain how it was not accurate , overheated and finished bullets to fast .

Sorry , going a bit sideways here . Has anybody else noticed how some Europeans have a better knowledge of the English Language than most English !

He in the end picked me out a small Makorov pistol and a pump action shot gun .
He explained that I was not used to guns, I needed something light and easy to use . That the Marokorov would get me out of most trouble as long I was not in a fire fight, then I would not last long .
He then further explained that the best Makorovs were made in East Germany and never buy a Russian one or even worse a Chinese or Korean one as this would blow up in my hand .

We fired off about two magazines each while he showed me how to use it .
Then we turned to the Pump Action Shot Gun .
He explained to me that the reason he had picked the shot gun was because again I was not good with guns I needed something with easy control and a big spread of fire .
And also that if somebody was shooting at me they were hardly about to pop there heads up while a load of lead buckshot was about to take there face off .
In my stoned and Drunken state all this made perfect sense .

#3
rpzx10 - 22 Aug 2014 // 20:40:08

After another half a hour of blasting away I was starting to get a bit tired but he had not finished and wanted to know how much I was willing to pay for these weapons .
I opened my wallet to show him that I had only English Money and a few French Francs .
A look of disappointment came across his face .
"Ok , no problem" he informed me . "I know were you live ".
Considering I had left home at 15 and had wandered around the world with no place of my own . This was a surprise to me . Because I did not know were I lived .
Ok, try this outside he said and picking up a rifle with a bent magazine in it we went outside .

"look " he said excitedly and began to tear off a number of rounds at some distant trees .
The trees all collapsed and some where really thick .
I tell you the truth , next time you see Rambo or Arnold getting a shot by a AK47 with High Velocity rounds , trust me he will not have a scratch, it will take his whole arm off or put a hole in his chest bigger than his head .
A couple of guys came out to see what all the noise was about and after a small discussion it was made clear that I was no longer wanted and to get out .

To be honest I was happy to leave .
My ex shooting buddy was not happy but knew better than to argue with his Captains .
So he took to me to my car , my keys where still in the ignition .
Opened up the back door and threw in the Makorov Pistol and the AK47 .
Winked and said " I know where you live " .

I drove off realising after about 20 minutes I had left my guitar behind but decided it would be a better idea not to bother going back .
I drove on for about another 5 hours trying to find Joannes family farm outside Basel .
But before I got there I was stopped by the Police in a Speed Trap.

Experience has taught me never to stay in the car and always get out and approach Police Men .
They are trained to go to you and then give you a hard time .The site of me jumping out of the car and walking towards them was not something in there Police Training Manuel .

The Police looked a bit nervous at each other and spoke to me in a language I did not understand , I assume it was Swiss as it did not sound like any French , German or Italian I had heard .
I spoke to them very politely in English and they appeared to relax .

#4
rpzx10 - 22 Aug 2014 // 20:44:09

Experience has taught me never to stay in the car and always get out and approach Police Men .
They are trained to go to you and then give you a hard time .The site of me jumping out of the car and walking towards them was not something in there Police Training Manuel .

The Police looked a bit nervous at each other and spoke to me in a language I did not understand , I assume it was Swiss as it did not sound like any French , German or Italian I had heard .
I spoke to them very politely in English and they appeared to relax .

It seems I was driving 12 KMS above the speed limit this was very serious and I would have to pay a fine .
I showed them my wallet with its few pounds and French Francs and then they informed they would have to arrest me .
Next they wanted my passport and to search the car .
I suddenly realised I was drunk , stoned and had a German made Pistol and a Russian AK47 on my back seat .
THat really sobers you up .
I gave them my passport and started to tell them that they were right to stop me .
That the Swiss Police were the best in the World and this was known all over the world .
What nice uniforms they had and how they where a pride to there country .

Then decided that I would get a Stamp in my passport and that I would not be able to leave Switzerland until I had paid the fine .
The other Officer was now looking inside my car .
I AM F***KED I thought .

The Officer searching the car came from behind me brandishing a CD in his hand which he had taken from the car (in those days CD,s were modern and really new ) .
On part of the cover was my face .
He was smiling .
"Is this you" he asked puzzled .
"EEEHHH!!!!! , Yes " I said being a bit thrown from this change .
"Can I have your Autograph " he said .
Of course I said Relived .
I then went back to the car took a pen and another cd and signed both .
After a lit bit of laughing and them talking in away I could not understand they gave me back my passport (with no stamp on it ) and waved me away .
After another two hours of getting lost, I finally found Joannas Family Farm .
It was now breakfast time and like most people who live in the country they had large meals .

I told them my story and the complete truth , about getting picked up by Hells Angels , the guns in the car and the drinking and drug taking ....

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY SHOCKED THEM ?????????

The fact that Swiss Policeman would let me off with a Speeding Fine..............

#5
rpzx10 - 22 Aug 2014 // 23:51:44

Small Cavite to my last post .
About 10 years later I was doing a small concert in Berlin and then Austria .
I crossed the border and eventually found the Hells Angels Club House .
It was completely burned out .

Talking to people in the local village It seemed that the Police and Army Soldiers had raided the place about 6 years earlier .
It resulted in four Police officers being killed and two soldiers being wounded .
A court trial took another 4 years which involved over 3000 arrests .
126 people were convicted for various offences ranging from 3 months to 36 years .
The Swiss Hells Angels are now a wasted Force .

After asking about the Club House, somebody must have called the Police . I found myself arrested while trying to leave the village . And was kept in a cell for 36 hours .